Late last year I started to write little notes to myself on Post Its and place them in my journal or on my headboard in my room – usually when I notice a theme or pattern that I want to break or want to continue to embrace – I have to constantly remind myself with messages.  

Self-Sabotage is one that kinda hit me the other day.  I noticed after an opportunity was presented to me on New Years day,  I immediately welcomed doubt and tried to talk myself out of it.  Um, what’s that all about?!  I’ll have you know, I am infamous for disrupting my own peace partially because I think I’m used to some sort of anxiety and chaos.  Then I thought, wait, that makes no damn sense.  You pray for peace, get it, and reject it. Girl, get your life.

So now I am proactively welcoming and maintaining my states of peace and understanding that calmness is the constant I need, chaos is not. 

Self-sabotage (as defined below). It’s bad for you. Don’t do it. (Repeat)

Life is hard enough. Don’t disrupt your peace for patterns of your past.

Don’t let opportunities pass you by because of doubt. They come to you for a reason or season, experience it, grow from it, and move on.

If things are going smoothly in your life, don’t purposely invite negativity into your current state because of fear.

Let your life move forward on its own.

I noticed over the holiday weekend that things were going so well and I was in a good space, but then I found myself thinking, wait is this normal. My life is never really calm, I’m always anxious. This isn’t normal. I need to “do” something to bring me back to a state of “chaos.”

So today, I vow to consciously be aware when I am not being kind to myself or wanting to doubt myself – and break that pattern by just staying the moment.

That’s all for now.

Self-sabotage Defined: Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals. The most common self-sabotaging behaviors are procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating, and forms of self-injury such as cutting. These acts may seem helpful in the moment, but they ultimately undermine us, especially when we engage in them repeatedly.

People aren’t always aware of their own self-sabotage as the effects of their behavior may not show up for some time. (https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/self-sabotage)