All posts filed under: Written Entries

Not Here To Stay

I’m at a point in my life where I finally understand that nothing lasts forever. With that acceptance actually comes appreciation and a willingness to flow with life…. the good times…. the bad times the sad times the lonely times the laughter the tears ….are not here to stay. All of things I have experienced in my life so far were not here to stay but to teach me lessons, help me grow, and get closer to my true self. #30Layers30Days   Advertisements

Too Little Too Late

I held on.  Year after Year. I let go slowly of the possibilities and promises but I still held on. My heart was only for you. My body, and My time.  All yours. I always knew you’d continue to let me down but I would still try to bait you. I wanted you to come back but I didn’t want you to stay. I didn’t trust you anymore. I knew there was no going back to our once upon a time. A lot happened between then and now. Unforgivable and Unforgettable stuff. But I still baited you. I still, though reluctantly, answered your call(s). My heart and my brain were never on the same wave. Ever. My soul did not want you. That’s an interesting thing.  My ego wanted you to want me again. The self esteem you tainted needed your vindication.  All I wanted to hear was “I want to be with you. It’s always been you. Let’s try this again, for real.” And finally, one day, you said it. Sincerely. I actually believed …

Endings

If there is no ending. There is no arrival. If there is no ending. The story just isn’t the same. The meaning is lost. If there is no ending. There is no clarity. If there is no ending – perhaps, what’s the point? Where’s the possibility? No ending – Delayed Beginning. No ending – No Growth. No Ending – Just confusion. If there is no ending  – plan to accumulate baggage, bad soul ties, and blocked blessings. For me, when things come to an end, it is just the hardest thing to deal with. HOWEVER, without ALL my just shit show of endings – there would be no Bloom. No Me. No Now. No Hope. If I would have let things end. On time.  Anxiety wouldn’t know my name. So now, endings means lessons, growth and strength. The challenge to become my true self.  Endings aren’t a bad thing. They are necessary if you want to meet your destiny. The End.

Rather Not Know

I’d rather not know…. ….when you’re going to break my heart. If you could just do it without disrupting my spirit. My self esteem. My happy. Our “Us”. I’d rather not know – or notice – when your consistency changes. When your chase turns into a chore. I’d rather not know – when you know I’m not the one or worth it. I’d rather not know what you really think of me – or when you want out. Just go. Say you’re coming right back. But don’t. Because once I know – I’m ruined. At least temporarily. #30Layers30Days Writing Challenge Entry for Nov. 16